Dearest Hermione
by DawnWing934
Summary: Draco finally confesses his love for Hermione in a heart-felt letter and says his last goodbyes before leaving on a dangerous mission with his fellow Death Eaters.


Dear Hermione,

For a long time, I would dream of this mysterious, beautiful, smart, frizzy haired angel. Never an idea as to who she was, what her name was, anything. I was clueless. All I knew is that this angel was always there beside me. I never understood those dreams. Until I came to Hogwarts, that is. The angel from my dreams was called to the Sorting Hat. I laid eyes on her, and a thousand questions raced into my mind. "Is that the girl from my dreams? Don't be silly, she isn't real! Or is she? I have to be dreaming." My heartbeat quickened, my feet no longer on the ground, my head in the clouds. My reality became surreal. I couldn't move, nor say a word. I will always regret that. I knew the moment I laid eyes on you that I was in love, and that it was undeniable.

I can't help but marvel every one of your qualities. Somehow, you've become the center of my thoughts. In the back of the classroom, I couldn't help but daydream about you; about the "us" I know can never be. You are perfect in my eyes. Your perfectly imperfect hair, sparkling brown eyes, slender figure, the shape of your lips, the softness of your skin, the sound of your voice; everything. The way your hang shoots in the air at every question, your amazing brain, clever ways, kindness, your bravery; all things I could never find in myself. You've got me under your spell.

I want you to know that whenever you are feeling insecure, unsure about yourself, or feel all hope in life is lost, re read this letter and know that you are perfect to at least one person in the world. Never lose faith in your abilities; never let anyone bring you down. Confidence and bravery are key. You are a wise witch, and I know you will do great things.

Sometimes I question why I reside in Slytherin. I love a Muggleborn! You are a Gryffindor! Why do I love my house's enemy? Some say we are two sides of the same coin, Gryffindor and Slytherin. So why does everyone have such hatred for no good reason to our equals? I will never know. Loving you goes against everything not only Slytherin believes in, but my family too. My love is rebellious, it is forbidden. We are parted by the Sorting Hat, and by blood status. It's sickening. I think in loving you, however, it has changed my view of the other houses. I've learned not to perceive them as everyone else does until I have had experience with them. I can't go by everyone else's judgement, I have to see for myself and decide for myself. So, thank you.

I know you hate me. The reasons I believe I have figured out in my head. One of these reasons being how I've treated Potter and Weasley. I mean, Harry and Ron. I guess I've just always been jealous of them. They get to have the one thing I want the most in life, my one true love. I see you and Ron hand in hand, and a hatred fills my lungs like water; trying to drown me in my own pathetic tears. I can't help it. As well, Ron makes you so happy. He is perfect you. The truth of that screams at me like a Mandrake, but I can't seem to let go completely yet. I'm still in a daze. To go along with that is my reputation. I have to live up to it, and the fact that I believe that sickens me. I don't know why I try so hard. Or maybe I do, and just don't have that sorted out in my head yet. I'm a puzzle that has yet to be solved. No matter how much I want anything else though, I still want YOU above everything else, for you to be mine, or if all else fails, for you to be happy. Seeing you unhappy is like the Cruciatus Curse being cast upon me a hundred times.

I am so sorry for the way I have treated you in the past. The names I've called you, picking on you; being such a major prat all the time. No one could know I loved who I did. No one knows but me and now you. I am not proud of the things I have done to you and others. I don't expect you to ever forgive me. They were cruel, and uncalled for. It ripped me in half, like having Sectumsempra cast upon me over and over and over to say those things. Which leaves me wondering, why did I say them? Was I trying to live up to my rep? Was I trying to show off? Or was my love something I was scared for my fellow Slytherins' to know, in fear of being even less accepted? I'm so sorry…

You are probably wondering why I am writing this. I am writing this because I am leaving, and I couldn't bear leaving without revealing the truth, revealing my feeling, or saying goodbye. I am leaving with my fellow Death Eaters on a mission, and I am not so sure if I will be coming back. Before assumptions about me are made, I want you to hear me out. A lot is said about Slytherins' and the Dark Arts. However, has anyone considered why? Besides that we have certainly had our share of dark wizards? I don't think anyone has considered the way we feel. For ages, Slytherin has been discriminated against and never had anything good said about us. We are all mostly hated. The only place we feel like a family is in our common room, and with the Death Eaters. We treat each other like family, we are wanted, we are accepted, and we are needed. There is a sense of belonging that a lot of us don't always feel at Hogwarts. Aside from that, I have never received love from my father. He showers me with material things to make up for lack of attention. It doesn't make up for anything, and I feel doing this will do him proud. I do not say this out of desire for pity, because that is not the case. I say this in hope of you understanding me a bit more.

I know you may never forgive me, but I wanted to confess these things for I do not believe there is a high chance of ever coming back. I hope one day I will see my beautiful lion again. Even if she is happy and safe with the red-haired man she loves and the chosen-one best friend. I will learn to accept that if you are happy, I am happy. All I want for you is to be happy. I can't stand seeing you sad. Well, I guess this is goodbye. No matter what, I will always love you. Always.

Love,

DRACO MALFOY


End file.
